I think the word to describe me now is lackadaisical.
I know my work is not up to scratch, but worse still is that I have thrown what little determination I had left far away, and all that's left to do is to feel bad about it.
It's actually a new semester now, and I have failed thermodynamics, so I'm taking it again. I am seriously beginning to doubt my ability to make it as an engineer now. As a result, I've started doing layout in the campus newspaper. If I cannot increase the quality of my skills, then let me at least increase the quantity of skills.
For this period of time, I've had to cut out rock climbing and dance, so as to be able to practice Cheer every weeknight. We all know our hall isn't going to be number 1, yet the people are still so enthusiastic. Another way I've heard it being described was "fun-loving". My functionality as a base is rather limited, and despite being at a good height for shoulder stands, I'm not. My specialty is supposed to be gymnastics, which means I can do a decent toe-touch, cartwheel, and land front handsprings. Beyond that, my role is pretty limited and I just need to support other bases and get a 'liberty' up.
I need drive. I want something immaterial to look forward to.
